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14.7.16

Lawyer only!!! For girl

*A girl showed interest in only marrying a lawyer*.
I asked the  girl "Why do you prefer a *lawyer* to *marry*?"
She said; "They *bow their head* while entering the room and again while going out.
They say ' *your honor*' or ' *my lord*' before and after every word."
"They don't have any *male ego; because, they *wear a gown*!"
"They go to a *BAR where liquor* is not served."
"More importantly, they *never question the judgment* at least before the person who gives it,
whether they like it or not."
" *What more does a wife require* ?"


8.7.16

Husband n wife duals

Husband n wife duals 
Wife : Shall I prepare Sambar or Rasam today .
Husband : First make it, we will name it later
☺

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting


A married man's prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now,
just reminding u......

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done,
I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight !
Why the hell did you bring him home for?"
Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married"


Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.


Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !


A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary
and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
Nooooo! That was the deal 


A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant.
As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.

LAST BUT THE BEST

Best Slogan on a
MAN's T-Shirt :
"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"
