Breast Size!
An HR guy got married to another HR girl. On the first night of their honey moon, on seeing his wife nude for the first time, he was furious: Tumne mujh se dhoka kiya!! You have cheated me!
The astounded but smart bride asks: Kaise? Kya dhokha diya hai maine?
The HR man shouts: Your Boobs are so small.... I definitely remember noticing their size, when I met you at the engagement... they appeared to be much bigger...
The bride replied,
"Honey, what you saw and agreed upon was the CTC Package...
but this is what you get IN HAND... 😂😂😂😂😂
__________
Management lessons from Gabbar Singh ...
Gabbar was a MANAGEMENT GURU as is reflected in some of the timeless management lessons he delivered thru the movie Sholay
1. Jo darr gaya samjho mar gaya - Courage and enterprise are important factors for laying the successful foundation of a growth oriented business
2. Kitne admi the - Its important to know the competition and its size ..he understood that even a small team can make a difference
3. Arey o sambha kitna inam rakhe hai sarkar hum par - Promoting one's own brand is very important and to be reiterated always
4. 6 goli, aur aadmi 3 - Create an illusion where his insurbodinates had a chance of survival but kills them in the next scene ...
moral - perform or perish
5. Le ab goli kha - Sometimes in the interest of the organisation u have to take hard and unpopular decisions .... So sometimes a leader has to 'fire' some employees
6. Jab tak tere pair chalenge uski saans chalegi - Classic carrot and stick approach ...tere pair ruke toh yeh bandook chalegi !!
7 . Yeh ramgadh waale apni betiyon ko kaunsi chakki ka aata khilate hai re - Market research is important to understand value propositions !!
8. Yeh hath mujhey dedey thakur - Identify elements of threats in the market and take measures to minimise them
9. Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi - Conduct advance mapping of key events within the industry and devise penetration strategy to have a competitive edge over your rivals
10. "Suwer ke bacheyyyy !" - Verbal warning for non performance !
_______________________________________________
Corporate lesson :
Jack and Max were walking near a church for the Sunday prayer..
Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I smoke while I pray?”
The Priest replies, “No, my son, you may not! That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I pray while I smoke?”
To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to.”
Moral of the story: The approval you want depends on the way you ask for it!!
Dedicated to all professionals !!!
______________________________________________
Sr. Manager to Jr. Manager : Tumhe aaj late evening tak kam karna padega!
Jr Manager : kya hai saahab raat ko mere dhande ka time hota hai.
Sr Manager : kya matlab ?
Jr. Manager : Sir raat ko Auto chalata hu... itni salary me ghar kahan chalta hai
Sr. Manager : Bas kar pagle rulayega kya. !!
kabhi raat ko biwi bachon ko le ke aana meri pav-bhaji ki dukan pe!
😂😂😂
(Dedicated to all employees who are waiting for appraisal)👻🙈😜
No comments:
Post a Comment