C O N D O M S'
==========
Imagine If All The Top Brand's Start Selling Condoms, They Won't Even Have To Change Their Tag Line..
==========
'Pepsodent' Condom:
Raat Bhar Dishum Dishum.. 😂😂
==========
'Colgate' Condom:
Ye Hai Hamara Suraksha Chakra.. 😂😂
==========
'Nokia' Condom:
Connecting People..
==========
'MRF' Condom:
Extra Rubber Extra Mileage.. 😜😜
==========
'Moov' Condom:
Ah Se Aha Tak..😝😝
==========
'Mirinda' Condom:
Zor Ka Jhatka Dhire Se Lage.. 😉😉
==========
'Godrej' Hair Dye Condom:
Kato Kholo Aur Lagao.. 😝😝
==========
'Sprite' Condom:
Bujaye Only Pyaas Baki All Bakwas.. 😂😂
==========
'Tata Sky' Condom:
Isko Laga Dala Toh Life Jhingalala.. 😜😜
==========
The Best One..
==========
'M-Seal' Condom:
Ek Tapakti Boond Aap Ki Kismat Badal Sakti Hai...!!!j 😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
17.4.17
Condoms by the top brands
13.4.17
Hyderabadi Amazon
*Hyderabadi Spl*
Begum:- sunoji mujhe nayi burqa hona hai, "Amma Jaan" se mangate kya.
Hubby:- Amma Jaan kaiku ri?😟
Begum:- Arey, har cheez to "Amma Jaan" ki dukan se hi to mangate ho aap!
Hubby:- Aiyoo teri maaki kirkiri, wo Amma Jaan nahi "Amazon" hai re howlii .
😡😡😡
Prices
An innocent student was writing to God..."
One Dollar has reached at ₹68, petrol at ₹70, milk₹40, onion reached at ₹80 per kg, and Dal ₹200!!!!. I'm greatful to you O God...passing marks are still at 35, warna apni to waat lag jaati!"
😀😄😆
With lots of love from last bench association!!
31.1.17
Man n woman tyranny
```📞 Different types of call duration summaries :
----------------,,,,,,,,
👦 boy to 👦 boy !
👉00:00:59👈
---------------------
👦 boy to 👩 mom !!
👉 00:00:50 👈
----------------------
👦 boy to 👨 dad !
👉00:00:30 👈
------------------------
👦 boy to 👧 girl !
👉 01:23:59 👈
-----------------------
👧 girl to 👧 girl !
👉 05:29:59 👈
-----------------------
👧 girl to 👦 boy !
👉 miss call 👈
-------------------------
👨 husband to 👩 wife!
👉 00:00:03👈
-------------------------
👩 wife to 👨 husband
👉 call waiting 👈😜😜
Don't b selfish, share it..
😂😂😂®```
______________________________
Absolute Classic!!!
Dedicated To all Wives !
👳 *Astrologer*: Do u want to know about your husband's future?
🙎 *Wife*: Rubbish, I will decide his future! you just tell me his past. 😜
_______________________________
❗A Lovely Warning❗
A Genius Husband gave the keys of his new car to his wife with a warning:
"Darling, if you meet with an accident, the newspaper will print your AGE... So drive carefully !!!"
😝😝😝
Man n woman tyranny
```📞 Different types of call duration summaries :
----------------,,,,,,,,
👦 boy to 👦 boy !
👉00:00:59👈
---------------------
👦 boy to 👩 mom !!
👉 00:00:50 👈
----------------------
👦 boy to 👨 dad !
👉00:00:30 👈
------------------------
👦 boy to 👧 girl !
👉 01:23:59 👈
-----------------------
👧 girl to 👧 girl !
👉 05:29:59 👈
-----------------------
👧 girl to 👦 boy !
👉 miss call 👈
-------------------------
👨 husband to 👩 wife!
👉 00:00:03👈
-------------------------
👩 wife to 👨 husband
👉 call waiting 👈😜😜
Don't b selfish, share it..
😂😂😂®```
______________________________
Absolute Classic!!!
Dedicated To all Wives !
👳 *Astrologer*: Do u want to know about your husband's future?
🙎 *Wife*: Rubbish, I will decide his future! you just tell me his past. 😜
_______________________________
❗A Lovely Warning❗
A Genius Husband gave the keys of his new car to his wife with a warning:
"Darling, if you meet with an accident, the newspaper will print your AGE... So drive carefully !!!"
😝😝😝
22.11.16
Spam E-Property Pass Book (EPPB): spam as not confirmed officially
Spam E-Property Pass Book (EPPB): spam as not confirmed officially
From 1/4/2017 all properties are invalid for one year.
You can't sell or buy any property until u register your properties in the E-Property Pass book.
EPPB will be linked with PAN, Aadhar online.
Owner has to personally report with ownership proof to Sub Registrar office where spl officers will enter all your property details in EPPB.
Once it is entered in EPPB your properties will become yours.
They will have one more spl counter for emergency sellers, mortgagers, buyers where they can do exchange of properties but with full details of all properties.
Upto 31/3/2018 all properties will be entered in EPPB.
From 1/4/2018 Govt will take over the properties not entered in EPPB .
Real Estate Surgical Strike on Black Assets!
Spam E-Property Pass Book (EPPB): spam as not confirmed officially
Spam E-Property Pass Book (EPPB): spam as not confirmed officially
From 1/4/2017 all properties are invalid for one year.
You can't sell or buy any property until u register your properties in the E-Property Pass book.
EPPB will be linked with PAN, Aadhar online.
Owner has to personally report with ownership proof to Sub Registrar office where spl officers will enter all your property details in EPPB.
Once it is entered in EPPB your properties will become yours.
They will have one more spl counter for emergency sellers, mortgagers, buyers where they can do exchange of properties but with full details of all properties.
Upto 31/3/2018 all properties will be entered in EPPB.
From 1/4/2018 Govt will take over the properties not entered in EPPB .
Real Estate Surgical Strike on Black Assets!
23.9.16
Documentation is important!!!
Once Ashish was travelling by train in A/c class. He was traveling from Manmad to Bangalore!
He was traveling alone!
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
Ashish was pleasantly Happy!
The lady kept smiling at him! This made Ashish even more Happy!
Then she went and sat next to him!
Ashish was bubbling with Joy!
She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear " Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me"
Ashish stared blankly at her!
He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say"
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him!
Ashish took her note, kept it in his pocket!
He got up and told her in clear tones..."Now shout & scream!!"
MORAL OF THE STORY : *DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT*
😄😀😄
10.9.16
30.8.16
Kattappa n Bahubali
Employee : sir Ganpati ke liye kuch din ki chutti chahiye.....🙏🙏
Boss: chutti!!! OK ek shart people mill sakti hai..
"ये बताओ कि कटप्पा ने बाहुबली
को क्यों मारा..🔪🔪..??"
Employee : sir ho sakta hai Bahubali
Ko kattapaa ne Ganpati ki chutti nahi di ho.....😃😝😂😇
Boss: कितने दिन की छुट्टी चाहिये...
😝😝😝😃😃😂😂😅😝😜😆
21.8.16
WHY. WHY. WHY ???
WHY. WHY. WHY ???
If swimming is a good exercise to stay FIT,
Why are whales FAT ??
😳😳😳😳
Why is the place in a stadium where people SIT,
called a STAND ?
😣😣😣😣
Why is that everyone wants to go to HEAVEN,
but nobody wants to DIE..
😂😂😂😂
😱😱😱😱
In our country,
We have FREEDOM of SPEECH,
Then why do we have TELEPHONE BILLS ?
😡😡😡😡
If money doesn't grow on TREES,
then why do banks have BRANCHES ?
😆😆😆😆
Why doesn't GLUE
stick to its BOTTLE ?
😭😭😭😭
Why do you still call it a BUILDING,
when its already BUILT ?
😨😨😨😨
If its true that we are here to HELP others,
What are others HERE for ?
😆 😆😆😆
If you arent supposed to DRINK and DRIVE...
Why do bars have PARKING lots ?
😲😲😲😲
If All The Nations In The World Are In Debt,
Where Did All The Money Go..?
😧😧😧😧
When Dog Food Is New With Improved Taste,
Who Tests It..?
😈😈😈😈
If The "Black Box" Flight Recorder Is Never Damaged During A Plane Crash,
Why Isn't The Whole Airplane Made Out Of That Stuff..?
🙀🙀🙀🙀
Who Copyrighted
The Copyright Symbol..?
🙈🙈🙈🙈
Can You Cry Under Water.?
😂😭😂😭
Why Do People Say "You've Been Working Like A Dog",
When Dogs Just Sit Around All Day..??
😆😆😆😆
We all are Living in a seriously funny world....😝😜😆😛
So Enjoy 😊
Dont laugh alone pass it on.
Room response to handle life
Today I asked myself How to Handle Life ?
My room gave me the perfect answer -
Roof said: Aim high;
Fan Said: Be cool;
Clock said: Value time;
Calendar said: Be up to date;
Wallet said: Save now for future;
Mirror said: Observe yourself;
Wall said: Share other's load;
Window said: Expand the vision;
Floor said: Always be down to earth
😝😝
Now the joke begins....
Then I looked @ my bed. And the bed said:
"kitni thand hai..
chaddar odh ke soja pagal...
Sab moh maya hai“
😂😂😂😂
14.7.16
Lawyer only!!! For girl
They say ' *your honor*' or ' *my lord*' before and after every word."
whether they like it or not."
8.7.16
Husband n wife duals
Husband : First make it, we will name it later
☺
A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
A married man's prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now,
just reminding u......
A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.
His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.
"My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done,
I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight !
Why the hell did you bring him home for?"
Husband answers "Because he's thinking of getting married"
Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary
and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
Nooooo! That was the deal
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant.
As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
Best Slogan on a
MAN's T-Shirt :
"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"
10.6.16
SSC Maharashtra Board Result check online process
📕📕📕
*SSC (10th) Maharashtra Board Result* will Be Declared
_ 6 June 2016 ko hoga declare_
01.00 baje se aap check kar sakte ho result ye link par 👇🏻👇🏻
*1)* www.mahresult.nic.in
*2)* www.result.mkcl.org
*3)*www.Maharashtraeducation.com
*4)*www.maharashtra12.knowyourresult.com
*5)* www.rediff.com/exams
*6)*www.maharashtra12.jagranjosh.com
📩📩📩📩📩📱
*Mobile Pe Sms Karke Bhi Result Dekh Sakte Hai*
📍 *BSNL* User Type
📩 _mhhse <space><seatno> And _ *Send To 57766*
📍 *Airtel* User type
📩 _MAH12 <space><Roll Number> and_
*Send To 5207011*
📍 *Idea,Vodafone,Reliance,*
*Tata Docomo,Telecom User Type*
✉ _MAH12 <space><Roll Number>_
*Send To 58888111*
*USSD code ke liye*
Airtel, Idea Vodafone ,and Aircel User
*Dial *588# to Get Result By SMS*
🔖All The Best all SSC students
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21.3.16
7.1.16
6.1.16
Very touching story
Late at night after their 25th anniversary party was over, in a dark living room his wife saw him whispering on the phone. She quietly walked into him, he hangs up , she asked him to who he was speaking. He answers her "I was talking to my 2nd wife who I got married to secretly 2 years back,)." She asked him, "but u never told me that". He says "I did not want to hurt ur feeling." She tells him, "That's ok darling, I am an understanding wife." He started crying loud with tears. She pacified him and tells him lets not wake up the kids held his hand and takes him to the bedroom. for the rest of the story click on the link
27.8.15
Banks
One man entered a bank with a gun and 2 lakh rupees. On entering itself he shot a bullet in the air and shouted. "If somebody tries to move from their seats and try to convince me for any Life Insurance Policy or SIP or General Insurance or Trading Account or RD or mutual fund...I'll start firing.. I came here just to deposit money in my account." ....!!
😂😂😂
7.7.15
Difference between happiness n sadness
Superb msg ever ✌️
Look at these happy faces
😄😊☺😂😌😚😆😄☺😁
And look at these sad faces
😡😠😨😢😳😰😥😳😢😠😱😏😨
Did you notice that all happy faces have closed eyes !n
And on the other hand , all sad or angry faces have open eyes !
Dis is life , close ur eyes & ignore all negative things to live happy 😄
1.7.15
24.6.15
11.6.15
Father management
Dad : Son u hv to get married I hv seen a girl for u...
Son:Not possible
Dad : Think twice she is Bill Gates daughter.....
Son: I m ready.
Dad goes to Bill Gates
Dad : My son wants to marry ur daughter
Bill Gates : Not possible
Dad : Think twice he is the CEO of Swiss Bank
Bill Gates : I m ready
Dad goes to Swiss Bank Authorities
Dad : Make my son the CEO of ur Bank
Authorities : Not possible
Dad : Think twice he is Bill Gates Son in Law
Authorities : Ur Sons job is confirmed
This is called Management Skills...😜😂😂😃
1.6.15
Electricity Office
!⚡! Outside the Electricity Office !⚡!
One 🍌Banana🍌 vendor was selling 🍌Banana🍌
Electricity office Manager -
Whats the price of Banana?
Vendor -
Let me know where u'll use ?
Manager -
What do u mean? ! ! !
Vendor-
If you are taking to temple then its
Rs 10 per kg
To Orphanage
Rs 15 per kg
For school children's
Rs 20 per kg
If u take home
Rs 25 per kg
And
For restaurant
Rs 30 per kg.
Electricity officer -
How can this be, All banana are same Then why difference in price?
Vendor -
This is my tariff plan
Even you people from same pole u give electricity but for home, shop, factory, u people charge different tariffs..
Electricity office manager still in Coma
😳⚡😳⚡😳⚡😳⚡😳⚡
😝😜😝😛😜😝😛😜😝😝
27.5.15
Best divorce letter ever !!!
BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
Watsappology in Marathi !!!: महाडिक
23.5.15
Arab Family
MAIL FROM AN ARAB STUDENT TO HIS DAD
Dear Dad
Sydney is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser...
Next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail
My dear loving son Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us.
Go and get yourself a train too.
Love, your Dad
Al Habibi....😜😄😂
20.5.15
Alia Butt !!!
Alia Bhatt :-Agar tu bata de ki meri Tokri me kya hai. toh tokri k aadhe Ande tere.
Aur ye bhi batade ki Ande Kitne hai to 10 k 10 Tere.
Aur agar ye Bhi bata de ki Ande Kiske hai to ande dene wali Murgi bhi teri.
Rahul Gandhi :- Arey yaar ... Lekin koi HINT TO De De
😝😝😝😂😂😂
Story special n bahu rani
शिक्षाप्रद कहानी !!!
रात में एक चोर घर में घुसता है। कमरे का दरवाजा खोला तो बरामदे पर एक बूढ़ी औरत सो रही थी। खटपट से उसकी आंख खुल गई। चोर ने घबरा कर देखा तो वह लेटे लेटे बोली '' बेटा, तुम देखने से किसी अच्छे घर के लगते हो, लगता है किसी परेशानी से मजबूर होकर इस रास्ते पर लग गए हो। चलो कोई बात नहीं। अलमारी के तीसरे बक्से में एक तिजोरी है ।
इसमें का सारा माल तुम चुपचाप वह ले जाना। मगर पहले मेरे पास आकर बैठो, मैंने अभी-अभी एक ख्वाब देखा है । वह सुनकर जरा मुझे इसका मतलब तो बता दो।
'' चोर उस बूढ़ी औरत की रहमदिली से बड़ा अभिभूत हुआ और चुपचाप उसके पास जाकर बैठ गया। बुढ़िया ने अपना सपना सुनाना शुरु किया '' बेटा मैंने देखा कि मैं एक रेगिस्तान में खो गइ हूँ। ऐसे में एक चील मेरे पास आई और उसने 3 बार जोर जोर से बोला
माजिद। । माजिद। । माजिद !!!
बस फिर ख्वाब खत्म हो गया और मेरी आंख खुल गई। जरा बताओ तो इसका क्या मतलब हुई? ''
चोर सोच में पड़ गया। इतने में बराबर वाले कमरे से बुढ़िया का नौजवान बेटा माजिद अपना नाम ज़ोर ज़ोर से सुनकर उठ गया और अंदर आकर चोर की जमकर धुनाई कर दी। बुढ़िया बोली ''बस करो अब यह अपने किए की सजा भुगत चुका।
'' चोर बोला; नहीं नहीं मुझे और कूटो सालों ताकि मुझे आगे याद रहे कि मैं चोर हूँ सपनों का मतलब बताने वाला नहीं। ''
👉Moral - Be Professional
😕😕😕😕😕😕
😬😬😬😬😬😬
If the daughter-in-law is eating lemon, it need not be any good news.
.
.
.
.
.
Times are changing.
.
.
.
.
May be she is getting rid of 'hangover'! 😝 😁
Sexy neighbour
Baajuwaali Special .. 😂😂
A man was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbour knocking on his door one Friday evening.
.
"I'm feeling so lonely that I can't stand it." she said.
"I want to go out, get drunk & want to enjoy my life. Are you free tonight?"
"Yes!" he replied enthusiastically.
"Wonderful." she said.
"Then please take care of my kids...
😄😃😀😊😅😄😃😀😊
Moral : Please read instructions
carefully before saying yes!
All free items* come with terms and conditions apply...
😝😜😝😛😜😝😛😜😝😛😜
Pm tour
PA to Mr. Modi - sir, which country have you planned to visit next?
Modi - ok, tell me which country is left??I want to visit all in 5 years
PA - sir, only our own country is left. Indian citizens are confused whether they have chosen a PM or Vasco da gama😜😛😆😂
Moving husband moving wife !!!
Frustrated wife was busy in packing her clothes.
.
Husband - Where are you going ?
.
Wife - I'm moving to my mother.
.
Husband also starts packing his clothes.
.
Wife - Now where are you going ?
.
Husband - I'm also moving to my mother.
.
Wife - And what about the kids ?
.
Husband - Well I guess ... If you are moving to your mother and I'm moving to my mother ... They should move to their mother.
.
Clothes unpacked.
😂😜😝
16.5.15
Chain message ... Killer one !!!
HILARIOUS MESSAGE FROM A FRUSTATED VICTIM OF CHAIN MESSAGES -
I want to thank all my friends who have forwarded chain messages to me in 2012, 2013 & 2014 and still continuing..
BECAUSE OF YOUR KINDNESS :
1- I stopped eating the tasty kurkure after I heard that it has plastic in it.
2- I stopped going to movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with Aids.
3- Forwarded hundreds of messages but still waiting for free balance.
4- I smell like a rotten egg since i stopped using deo's because they cause cancer.
5- I also donated all my savings to a 7 year old poor girl who was about to die in hospital about 700 times.
6- Made 100 wishes before forwarding God's pictures & etc by now most of those 'wishes' are already married.
7- I have stopped drinking Frooti as every six-months, one worker having AIDS dies in the Parle factory & his blood gets mixed in the Frooti.
8- Every week Chairman & Falaana- Dheenka Director of Whatsapp send SMS to forward to 8 person in contact list if not my whatsapp will be charged or Icon will not become Blue. I have not forwarded sms, still my whatsapp is FOC (free of cost).
9-If I don't take Your calls sometime, assume that my mobile is charging & I fear getting Burnt if I talk when mobile is charging. Bcoz every alternate days it is fixed somebody died of this as informed in chain SMS.
Now if you don't send this message to your friends in next 10 seconds, a Coconut will Fall on Your Head tomorrow.
😀😀😂😂😊😰😅😅
😡😡😷😷😬😬😇😂
Ab toh Hadd Hogayi...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
⚠Whatsapp is giving 5kg Rice and 2litre milk share this message in only 5 groups and check the kitchen after 30 minutes✔
😂😂😂😂😂.
12.5.15
Flipkart n Snapdeal confusion
Flipkart product in Snapdeal packing . disappointing stuff .
Jaago , grahak jaago ...
10.5.15
Mothers day special
🍛🍛🍛When you say, "Mom, 4 dosas will be enough for me.", she will bring you 5..🍛🍛🍛
⏰📞⏰📞⏰When you're out, she will call you once in an hour.⏰📞⏰📞⏰
🍎🍎🍎When there are 3 apples and your family has 4 members, mom will say, "I don't like apples".🍎🍎🍎🍎
😴😶😴😶😴When you go to sleep with no blankets, you will definitely wake up with one. 😴😇😴😇😴😇
🍯🍪🍯🍪🍯When you're going away to another city or country, she will pack you a bunch of snacks specially made for you.
Then she will tell you, "Don't give all snacks to your friends. Eat it yourself."🍯🍪🍯🍪🍯
🎊⌛🎊⌛When coming back home after a long day, the first thing your mom would say, "Come and have dinner"⏰🍛⏰🍛⏰
📚⏰📚⏰📚Gonna study at midnight? Don't worry. Mom will make you tea, coffee or whatever snack you want and she will never complain about losing her sleep
Conclusion:
At times, you may not like her.😪
You may get irritated by her. 😖😠😫
You may even abandon her. 😷😏😑🙈
✨But a mom will always be a mom. And you will always be her 👶child👶✨
😍😍😍She will never stop loving you..😍😍😍
No one in this world can take a mom's place...not even God.
❤❤❤Dedicated to all the lovely moms on earth and in heaven❤❤❤
Happy Mothers Day
6.5.15
Husband n wife part 1
Husband & Wife - too good.....Just tooo goood..
This is the best and most civil way to have a fight between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force...
Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.
WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed..
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.
HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far
HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you
AND THE SAGA CONTINUES........
......................................................
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever
...........................................................................
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one every day.
..................................................................
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
...................................................................
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.
....................................................................
Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: a gentle push...!!😜😝😂😂
Awesome definitions of daily things
Wonderful definitions 😄
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
Rolled in paper
With fire at one end
And a fool at the other!
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
Wherein
A man loses his bachelors degree
And a woman gains her masters
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
Multiplied by the
Number present
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
A cake in such a way that
Everybody believes
He got the biggest piece
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
Masculine will-power is
Defeated by feminine water-power!
CLASSIC:
A book
Which people praise,
But never read
SMILE:
A curve
That can set
A lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place
Where you can relax
After your strenuous
Home life
YAWN:
The only time
When some married men
Ever get to open
Their mouth
EXPERIENCE:
The name
Men give
To their
Mistakes
DIPLOMAT:
A person
Who tells you
To go to hell
In such a way
That you actually look forward
To the trip
OPTIMIST:
A person
Who while falling
From EIFFEL TOWER
Says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
MISER:
A person
Who lives poor
So that
He can die RICH!
FATHER:
A banker
Provided by
Nature
BOSS:
Someone
Who is early
When you are late
And late
When you are early
POLITICIAN:
One who
Shakes your hand
Before elections
And your Confidence
Later
DOCTOR:
A person
Who kills
Your ills
By pills,
And kills you
By his bills!
30.4.15
IIN hilarious !!!
A boy jumps in swimming pool n starts to drown...
Lifeguard jumps n saves his life...
Lifeguard - y u jumped, when u didn't knew swimming?
Boy - I was trying to learn swimming...
Lifeguard - without a swimming trainer ???
Boy - yes, I am from IIN...
😂😂
Husband n wife
Husband: "Hi Honey, I was driving to Tanya's place along the coast road and had a sudden puncture. The car skidded and rolled over. Only a small tree kept me from sliding over a cliff and falling 500 feet. I managed to crawl out of the car only one second before the tree snapped and the car fell over the cliff. I am now in hospital with a broken arm, several broken ribs, a shattered kneecap and severe concussion."
Wife: "Who is Tanya?"
____________________
Watsapp calling
WhatsApp Calling Feature Is All About:
1. Hello Aawaz Aa Rahi Hai?
2. Tujhe Meri Aawaz Der Se Sunayi Padh Rahi
Hai.
3. Sorry Yaar By Mistake Lag Gaya Tha.
4. Bas Test Kar Raha Tha Call Lagta Kaise Hai.
5. Sirf Dekh Raha Tha Paise Toh Nahi Cut Rahe
Na😂😂✌
########################
28.4.15
27.4.15
Monthly puzzle
Good morning...... Solve this: Puzzle.😎☝🎆
Let us see who can do it.
🚩🙏
Here is a list showing the month and a number for each month .
☝January 713
☝February 823
☝March 531
☝ April 542
☝May 351
☝June 462
☝July 471
☝ August 683
😤⚡Discover the logic and find the number for September = ?
🌞Challenge is O P E N for all GENIUS😇
Please support yöür answer by logic , it's compulsory ...☝😎
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September -- 993
9 letters+ 9th month + 3 vowel
25.4.15
Good to know info while in a hotel
How to check a Hidden Camera in Hotel Room?
When you stay in a hotel, how do you know there is no room pinhole camera? you do not know that you could unknowingly be photographed. You can use this method to check your room. When you have entered into your room, turn off the lights, and close the curtains,open your phone camera, do not turn the flash light on. Turn around the room with your cell phone, when a red dot is found, that means that a hidden web camera is installed. If no red dots, the room is ok. Please forward this message to your friends who travel or take a business trip very often. My dear friends and sisters kindly note and be aware
Share with as many u can. Help ur sister, mom ur wife n female friends.......
Sindhis
This is a google survey:
▫▫▫▫▫▫▫▫
Sindhi's are most successful,total Population is only 5% of the world !!
-------------------------------
30% of india's businesses are run by Sindhi's only !!!
-------------------------------
We are the 6th most Richest community in the world.
-------------------------------
Sindhi surnames have 423 different ending in ANI's
-------------------------------
35% NRI globally are Sindhi. We are the official caste of 43 countries and counting !
-------------------------------
In 2024 we will be the richest minority community worldwide !
-------------------------------
I am proud of being a Sindhi. If you are too share as much as you can.
Fakhar saan chao ... Haa, Maan Sindhi Aahiyaan .... Jai Jhulelal !!
__________________________
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠
Sab hi chao Jhulelal
Hass kar jiyo mere laal.
🐠🌙🙏🔔🐠🌙🙏
Jeko chavando Jhulelal
Tahinja theenda bera paar.
🙏🐠🌙🔔🌺🙏🐠
Jeko chavando Jhulelal
Sada hi rahando mala maal.
🙏🐠🌙🔔🌺🎄🙏
Jeko chavando Jhulelal
Kadhin na theendo woh kangaal.
💰💰💰💰💰💰💰
Jeko chavando Jhulelal
Kadhin na theendo Bhagwan kha dhaar.
🙏💰🐠🌙🔔💐🎄
Jeko chavando Jhulelal
Udhari na indo dhar te yaar.
🙏🐠🌙💰🔔🌺💐
Jeko chavando Jhulelal
Umar unji 100 saal.
🙏🌙🐠🔔💰💐🌺
Jeko chavando Jhulelal
Unkhe milandi suthy zaal.
🙏🐠🌙🔔💰💐🌺
Inkha vadeek chha khapai muhinja yaar, dildaar, manthaar, akhyun ja piyar.
Tawa sabin khe cheti chand ju lakh lakh vadayun.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔
💰💰💰💰💰💰💰
________________________________
〽An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood on standby. As the Arab had a very rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally.
So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally, a Sindhi was located who had a similar type of blood.
The Sindhi willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery the Arab sent the Sindhi as a token of his appreciation a new Rolls, diamonds, Bulgari jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sindhi who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sindhi a thank you card and a jar of almond halwa.
The Sindhi was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sindhi's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.
The Arab replied "Chariya...now I have Sindhi blood in my veins !"😱😜
Trigonometry in watsapp
😜Whatsapp's 1st ever useful msg to engineering domain students😜
(α+в+¢)²= α²+в²+¢²+2(αв+в¢+¢α)
1. (α+в)²= α²+2αв+в²
2. (α+в)²= (α-в)²+4αв b
3. (α-в)²= α²-2αв+в²
4. (α-в)²= f(α+в)²-4αв
5. α² + в²= (α+в)² - 2αв.
6. α² + в²= (α-в)² + 2αв.
7. α²-в² =(α + в)(α - в)
8. 2(α² + в²) = (α+ в)² + (α - в)²
9. 4αв = (α + в)² -(α-в)²
10. αв ={(α+в)/2}²-{(α-в)/2}²
11. (α + в + ¢)² = α² + в² + ¢² + 2(αв + в¢ + ¢α)
12. (α + в)³ = α³ + 3α²в + 3αв² + в³
13. (α + в)³ = α³ + в³ + 3αв(α + в)
14. (α-в)³=α³-3α²в+3αв²-в³
15. α³ + в³ = (α + в) (α² -αв + в²)
16. α³ + в³ = (α+ в)³ -3αв(α+ в)
17. α³ -в³ = (α -в) (α² + αв + в²)
18. α³ -в³ = (α-в)³ + 3αв(α-в)
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌻🌻
ѕιη0° =0
ѕιη30° = 1/2
ѕιη45° = 1/√2
ѕιη60° = √3/2
ѕιη90° = 1
¢σѕ ιѕ σρρσѕιтє σƒ ѕιη
тαη0° = 0
тαη30° = 1/√3
тαη45° = 1
тαη60° = √3
тαη90° = ∞
¢σт ιѕ σρρσѕιтє σƒ тαη
ѕє¢0° = 1
ѕє¢30° = 2/√3
ѕє¢45° = √2
ѕє¢60° = 2
ѕє¢90° = ∞
¢σѕє¢ ιѕ σρρσѕιтє σƒ ѕє¢
🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒🎒
2ѕιηα¢σѕв=ѕιη(α+в)+ѕιη(α-в)
2¢σѕαѕιηв=ѕιη(α+в)-ѕιη(α-в)
2¢σѕα¢σѕв=¢σѕ(α+в)+¢σѕ(α-в)
2ѕιηαѕιηв=¢σѕ(α-в)-¢σѕ(α+в)
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
ѕιη(α+в)=ѕιηα ¢σѕв+ ¢σѕα ѕιηв.
» ¢σѕ(α+в)=¢σѕα ¢σѕв - ѕιηα ѕιηв.
» ѕιη(α-в)=ѕιηα¢σѕв-¢σѕαѕιηв.
» ¢σѕ(α-в)=¢σѕα¢σѕв+ѕιηαѕιηв.
» тαη(α+в)= (тαηα + тαηв)/ (1−тαηαтαηв)
» тαη(α−в)= (тαηα − тαηв) / (1+ тαηαтαηв)
» ¢σт(α+в)= (¢σтα¢σтв −1) / (¢σтα + ¢σтв)
» ¢σт(α−в)= (¢σтα¢σтв + 1) / (¢σтв− ¢σтα)
» ѕιη(α+в)=ѕιηα ¢σѕв+ ¢σѕα ѕιηв.
» ¢σѕ(α+в)=¢σѕα ¢σѕв +ѕιηα ѕιηв.
» ѕιη(α-в)=ѕιηα¢σѕв-¢σѕαѕιηв.
» ¢σѕ(α-в)=¢σѕα¢σѕв+ѕιηαѕιηв.
» тαη(α+в)= (тαηα + тαηв)/ (1−тαηαтαηв)
» тαη(α−в)= (тαηα − тαηв) / (1+ тαηαтαηв)
» ¢σт(α+в)= (¢σтα¢σтв −1) / (¢σтα + ¢σтв)
» ¢σт(α−в)= (¢σтα¢σтв + 1) / (¢σтв− ¢σтα)
👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽
α/ѕιηα = в/ѕιηв = ¢/ѕιη¢ = 2я
» α = в ¢σѕ¢ + ¢ ¢σѕв
» в = α ¢σѕ¢ + ¢ ¢σѕα
» ¢ = α ¢σѕв + в ¢σѕα
» ¢σѕα = (в² + ¢²− α²) / 2в¢
» ¢σѕв = (¢² + α²− в²) / 2¢α
» ¢σѕ¢ = (α² + в²− ¢²) / 2¢α
» Δ = αв¢/4я
» ѕιηΘ = 0 тнєη,Θ = ηΠ
» ѕιηΘ = 1 тнєη,Θ = (4η + 1)Π/2
» ѕιηΘ =−1 тнєη,Θ = (4η− 1)Π/2
» ѕιηΘ = ѕιηα тнєη,Θ = ηΠ (−1)^ηα
🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸
1. ѕιη2α = 2ѕιηα¢σѕα
2. ¢σѕ2α = ¢σѕ²α − ѕιη²α
3. ¢σѕ2α = 2¢σѕ²α − 1
4. ¢σѕ2α = 1 − ѕιη²α
5. 2ѕιη²α = 1 − ¢σѕ2α
6. 1 + ѕιη2α = (ѕιηα + ¢σѕα)²
7. 1 − ѕιη2α = (ѕιηα − ¢σѕα)²
8. тαη2α = 2тαηα / (1 − тαη²α)
9. ѕιη2α = 2тαηα / (1 + тαη²α)
10. ¢σѕ2α = (1 − тαη²α) / (1 + тαη²α)
11. 4ѕιη³α = 3ѕιηα − ѕιη3α
12. 4¢σѕ³α = 3¢σѕα + ¢σѕ3α
🌾🍄🌾🍄🌾🍄🌾🍄🌾🍄🌾
» ѕιη²Θ+¢σѕ²Θ=1
» ѕє¢²Θ-тαη²Θ=1
» ¢σѕє¢²Θ-¢σт²Θ=1
» ѕιηΘ=1/¢σѕє¢Θ
» ¢σѕє¢Θ=1/ѕιηΘ
» ¢σѕΘ=1/ѕє¢Θ
» ѕє¢Θ=1/¢σѕΘ
» тαηΘ=1/¢σтΘ
» ¢σтΘ=1/тαηΘ
» тαηΘ=ѕιηΘ/¢σѕΘ
⚡⚡⚡⚡🌀🌀🌀🌀🍃🌿🍁🍂
I am sure no one would have completely read this..
bcz v r all engineers
😂😂😂😂😂
School world
Brilliant😄😄😄
👇👇👇👇👇👇
A Sexy Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class.
Madam asked,'Boy, What is your problem?'
Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'
Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?' Boy.: '9 .
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?' Boy.: '36 .
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know.
The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'
Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.
Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'
Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy.: 'Pockets.'
Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Fire truck
Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME.
Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, . . . . . . 'Send this Boy to IIM AHMEDABAD,Even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!!!
😜😜😂😂
______________________________
Chotu: Mummy tu mala khota sangitala....
Mom😡: I told to u every time please speak in English.
Chotu : Ok Mom u lied to me.
Mom : When my son. ?😕
Chotu : U said that my younger sis is an angel.
Mom : Yes, she is
Chotu : So why didn't she fly when I threw her from our balcony.
Mom : Kutrya... Melya...Kutha fekla porila ????.
Son : Talk in English Mom 😂😂😂😂😂😝😝😝
Desi mix
To err is human .....
To blame it on driver is ....
BEING HUMAN 😛😝😄😱
_______________________________________________
A Lady visited a Bar for the First Time, She Sat on the Table in Front of the Bar Tender..
A Guy at Her Left side ordered: "Jack Daniels, Single"
A Guy at Her Right Side ordered: "Johnny Walker, Single"
The Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??
Lady replied: "Rupali Deshpande, Married.
..
_________________________
The plane takes off and after a few minutes the passengers take off their seatbelts. The man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag to take out a crossword book. Marvellous, he thinks, not only am I blessed with the Pope next to me but he does crosswords and so do I.
He notices that the Pope is working uhis way through the puzzle, and that the Pope is tapping his pencil, thinking. The Pope turns to him and says, “I usually don’t talk to anyone on flights, but I wonder if you can help me?”
“Anything your Eminence.. What is it?”
“Do you know a four letter word
that ends in ‘u-n-t’
that means
something associated with women?”
The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says,
“The only word I can think of is aunt.”
The Pope looks at him and asks,
“Do you have an eraser?
_________________________________________
1 shakhs ne kisi Buzurg se pucha:
Dunya me Dost aur Dushman ki kaise pehchan ki jae?
Buzurg ne ghour se suna
Phir jaib se 1 machis ki dabbi nikali
us me se 2 teeliyan uthain
1 teeli wapis rakhi
1 teeli ko tor k us k 2 hisse kiye
agla hissa phenk diya pichle hisse ko kan me pherte hue bole
"Meku kya malum!!"
Rajnikant !!!
Fresh stock of Rajni jokes 😜😛👍
-------------------------g-------
Reporter to Rajnikant: how many
jokes have been made on you till now?
Rajni: only 1 or 2.
Reporter: only 1 or 2?
Rajni: enna RASCALA! Rest all are facts!😜
--------------------------------
Rajnikanth's dog's house has a
signboard on it, saying..
Maalik Se Sawdhan!🐶
-------------------------------
Once Rajnikant Decided To Race With Time.. & The Result Is Time Is Still Running🕑⌚️
---------------------------------- Rajnikant participated in 1000 KM race and obviously he came first But
EINSTEIN died after watching that Coz ... LIGHT came second...😧😜
-------------------------------
Galileo used 'Lamp' to Study,
Graham bell used 'Candle' to study,
Shakshpeare studied in 'Street
lights' But .....
Do u know about Rajnikant......????
He used Only Agarbatti😜👓🎓
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When Rajnikant was a student! You can't guess this one...
Teachers used to bunk!📒✒️
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While playing once Rajnikant said
"statue" to a girl... Now that Statue is know as
"Statue of Liberty"🙋🗽😜
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Rajinikanth's calendar jumps straight
from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikant.😜
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Once Rajnikant was playing cricket in
the monsoons.... and .... The rain
was cancelled due to the match.💦
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Why did British leave India in 1947?
Bcoz. they came to know Rajnikant
was going to be born in 1948...😳😝
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This Msg. is Sent in the Interest of
Humanity- Guys Stop making Jokes
on Rajnikant or else he will Delete
INTERNET..🌐
😛😜😝😃
Engineering world
MASTERPIECE......KILLER OF THE DECADE...!!!
When I was young I decided to go to medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the alphabets
P N E I S
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are Engineers .😄
______________________________
Engineering shayri
''mountain dew peene se ud jata hai fear
Wah wah!
Mountain dew peene se ud jata hai fear.
Xternal says _see dear, ur basic concept r not clear plz try next year...........😓😂😂😉
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Galileo used candle for studying at night .......
Alexander used lamp for studying at night......
Einstein used torch light for studying at night.....
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sab apne jaise hi they.....
din bhar timepass or rat ko padhai 😂😂😜😝
Management world
Breast Size!
An HR guy got married to another HR girl. On the first night of their honey moon, on seeing his wife nude for the first time, he was furious: Tumne mujh se dhoka kiya!! You have cheated me!
The astounded but smart bride asks: Kaise? Kya dhokha diya hai maine?
The HR man shouts: Your Boobs are so small.... I definitely remember noticing their size, when I met you at the engagement... they appeared to be much bigger...
The bride replied,
"Honey, what you saw and agreed upon was the CTC Package...
but this is what you get IN HAND... 😂😂😂😂😂
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Management lessons from Gabbar Singh ...
Gabbar was a MANAGEMENT GURU as is reflected in some of the timeless management lessons he delivered thru the movie Sholay
1. Jo darr gaya samjho mar gaya - Courage and enterprise are important factors for laying the successful foundation of a growth oriented business
2. Kitne admi the - Its important to know the competition and its size ..he understood that even a small team can make a difference
3. Arey o sambha kitna inam rakhe hai sarkar hum par - Promoting one's own brand is very important and to be reiterated always
4. 6 goli, aur aadmi 3 - Create an illusion where his insurbodinates had a chance of survival but kills them in the next scene ...
moral - perform or perish
5. Le ab goli kha - Sometimes in the interest of the organisation u have to take hard and unpopular decisions .... So sometimes a leader has to 'fire' some employees
6. Jab tak tere pair chalenge uski saans chalegi - Classic carrot and stick approach ...tere pair ruke toh yeh bandook chalegi !!
7 . Yeh ramgadh waale apni betiyon ko kaunsi chakki ka aata khilate hai re - Market research is important to understand value propositions !!
8. Yeh hath mujhey dedey thakur - Identify elements of threats in the market and take measures to minimise them
9. Holi kab hai, kab hai Holi - Conduct advance mapping of key events within the industry and devise penetration strategy to have a competitive edge over your rivals
10. "Suwer ke bacheyyyy !" - Verbal warning for non performance !
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Corporate lesson :
Jack and Max were walking near a church for the Sunday prayer..
Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I smoke while I pray?”
The Priest replies, “No, my son, you may not! That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I pray while I smoke?”
To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to.”
Moral of the story: The approval you want depends on the way you ask for it!!
Dedicated to all professionals !!!
______________________________________________
Sr. Manager to Jr. Manager : Tumhe aaj late evening tak kam karna padega!
Jr Manager : kya hai saahab raat ko mere dhande ka time hota hai.
Sr Manager : kya matlab ?
Jr. Manager : Sir raat ko Auto chalata hu... itni salary me ghar kahan chalta hai
Sr. Manager : Bas kar pagle rulayega kya. !!
kabhi raat ko biwi bachon ko le ke aana meri pav-bhaji ki dukan pe!
😂😂😂
(Dedicated to all employees who are waiting for appraisal)👻🙈😜
Sardar in Bar
A drunk Marathi bhau enters a bar orders a drink and yells:
"Hey, you wanna hear a Sardar joke?"
In deep husky voice a man next to him says:
"Before you tell that joke Sir, I think it is fair to inform you that you are drunk for sure, you should know 5 things about this place...
1. Bartender is Sardar,
2. Bouncer is Sardar,
3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 260 LB Sardar with a black belt,
4. Man sitting next to me is Sardar and is a professional weightlifter.
5. Man to your right is a Sardar and a professional wrestler.
Now think about it.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The drunk Marathi bhau thinks for a second, shakes his head and declares:
"Nako re Baba. Who's gonna explain the joke 5 times !!"😂😂😆😆